So today is the last day off in a row . kinda sad but im ready to go back to work . i kinda actually miss it . i feel like i have way to much free time. Today so far was a random day . This morning with some not so great news and then went on a walk with desi then played some magic . and later tonight i hopeing for a movie night . I sent out all the invites and now im just waiting to see who all is coming and then the big question will be what movie do we watch. Well ill have to tell you later how it goes .
So i really think today is it . Today i feel like its really over and im okay . Some of me feels like i owe john reed like a hundred hours of his life back from talking me threw everything over the last few months. but i dont know where i would be with out him . I thank God everyday for putting people in my life that have helped me grow so much even some people that may not realize it .
Ive been talking to a few random people today about just how i have been feeling and what im thinking . Sometimes i feel like im getting no where and my life is such a stand still but i need to grow more towards Christ . i have fallen so far and feel so lost sometimes cause i feel like i should know way more than i do . I want to have my own opinnions and actually know why i have them and not just form from everyone elses. So i guess i need to find a me . lol i need to decide who i am . I mean i love being me and ill never change that . ill always laugh way to loud even in public . Ill always be trying to make plans with people . and have a ton of friends. I will always seem to find some reason to why i should buy more shoes and i will always enjoy playing video games and magic. I cant help those things . but i need to be able to defend myself in the real world .
well good bye for now . i may try to read some more twilight and not fall asleep on my book .
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