You say i cant have it all. well i already do . love GOD

Caught some where between complete silence and 600 donuts i kept finding myself re-living days of the past in my noggin. Anyone else ever do that ?? The flash back that stood out the most to me was the day i was let go from a previous job. I can still see the whole day happening. I see me waking up completely dead to go to a class that i actually was excited about for once. Everyone that was normally mean was super nice. And then a few moments later it all went down hill. I remember seeing the faces of some dear friends and saying goodbye to that life i had there seemed so difficult. The tears never stopped for weeks and for a while it wasnt me missing the job it was me missing the friends.

Lets be real for a moment . No matter how much you try you can never be as close to people if they are taken out of your life. ( more like riped out ) Its hard to keep finding your self or to try to put yourself someone where that you just never are anymore. I miss the hugs . the laughs. the talks. the cakes. my long mondays with a special someone. and always for some reason or another the talks were always about my crazy life. I love you all !! Im sorry im not around nearly as much as i use to but it just keeps getting harder.

So now i find myself somewhere that... dont get me wrong im so happy with and i love the people in my life but its... just harder. Its crazy how money can make life so easy. It takes all the stress off. Its easier to laugh. Though now that im out of the old life i laugh more. Life just gets difficult and no matter how many good deeds you do some how it still hard. I look at the people who seem to have it so easy and wonder how they even complain. However here i am complaining and could have it a lot harder. 

Phillipians 4:13 - 

I know i can do all things threw christ!! So here i am im taking on the world!!