What a year ... ////

This has been a year for me and i know its not over yet which still scares me slightly. Ive experienced it all this year. I had my heart ripped out stomped on mended healed stabbed again. I have a job that i could never be more happy with. I love the people i work with and would have not made it threw the year with out them :) !! I have taken on great responsibilities and struggle with family. Ive established my place and i know where i want to be. I have made many new friends !! and still love the old ones. I have lost many friends that some seem to be coming back around again. i guess its true when they say time heals. Thinking back ... if you would have asked me a year ago today where i would be in a year. I would be no where near where i am right now and if you would have told me where i would be now a year ago i would have never wanted to be here but now that im here i could never be happier. well maybe i could :).  A friend of mine told me she visited a baby today and i said to her, " Oh to be young and innocent to the world. " and she agreed and my following text i sent back to her was , " But i would never wish to go back and do it again. " and i said this not cause i didnt love life cause i did but there is no promise that my life would get better and i know im strong enought o deal with what i have dealt with and im not sure how much more i could handle. I juggle a lot in my life and im only 19. I hope there is a whole lot more of life for me to live and i cant wait. Im sure there will be more pain.losses.heartache.but im sure there will be joy.laughter. and lots of random silliness.  One thing that i do know is i have grown towards God so much this year. i still am no where near where i should be but im standing up for him more and more every day at work. and i love that everyone knows that i love God there!! I love being a witness for him !!

So as for the holidays coming up they are gonna be different. This will be the first year that i have not had my brother , grandpa or been in a relationship my whole life. I found out the other day my grandma had been crying for a few days cause she missed her parents and  grandpa. and knowing she is hurting kills me. I think its time for some new traditions to start in this house. :) Its all going UP from here. Tears may be shed in this house but only happy ones :) .

So thats pretty much it. Thats whats on the brain. Goals for the rest of the year is. Get everyones presents which i started the shopping list ands its almost finished . work on trust. and Date God !!! :) 

I love this song !!!

Everyone needs compassion,
Love that's never failing;
Let mercy fall on me.

Everyone needs forgiveness,
The kindness of a Saviour;
The Hope of nations.

Saviour, He can move the mountains,
My God is Mighty to save,
He is Mighty to save.

Forever, Author of salvation,
He rose and conquered the grave,
Jesus conquered the grave.

So take me as You find me,
All my fears and failures,
Fill my life again.

I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in,
Now I surrender.

My Saviour, He can move the mountains,
My God is Mighty to save,
He is Mighty to save.
Forever, Author of salvation,
He rose and conquered the grave,
Jesus conquered the grave.

Shine your light and let the whole world see,
We're singing for the glory of the risen King...Jesus (x2)

My Saviour, He can move the mountains,
My God is Mighty to save,
He is Mighty to save.
Forever, Author of salvation,
He rose and conquered the grave,
Jesus conquered the grave.

My Saviour, you can move the mountains,
You are mighty to save,
You are mighty to save.
Forever, Author of Salvation,
You rose and conquered the grave,
Yes you conquered the grave