Watch Out . Im on the prowl boys ;)

Irony ... a little when the one thing you try to avoid swoops into your life at the perfect timing that you've decided to give it a chance. Im not saying i regret it. Im not saying im completely overjoyed with what i did. I can't tell you why my heart took an interest. I broke all the rules to see if it would be better than before... Two lives going in opposite directions some how meeting for a moment. I was hoping to bring you up but you brought me down. Its fine if you want to live your life that way but i want more than that maybe more is a bad choice of words. I want different than that. I felt it , the thought always somewhere in the back of my head, wondering when it was gonna hurt how long will this last. Till one moment it hit me your freaked i cried you said sorry i said okay and we went on again then last night it hit me again. you freaked. i almost shed a tear. I knew it was right this time. How you handled it just adds to why i had to say goodbye.  When you know the person that means the most to you wouldn't approve of someone your trying to make the next most important. Its time to step back and stop justifying cause the longer you wait the longer it may hurt. A piece of me still wishes you could change but its something that really may never be. Im looking ahead. Loving God . My friends and life itself. Still looking for Love. This time hopefully in all the right places.


Stay tuned :)

Were playing life its your turn

Most people say they hate playing games yet here we all are caught up in the game of life. All of us wishing the real world was as easy as Hasbro makes it out to be. There is no obvious stop and pick career or stop and get married. You don't get an extra spin. Every choice comes with a new load of responsibility some are so easily made and others take forever to just step in the door. 

Some moments you feel like you dont care how long it takes and others you wonder how long should you wait here. If things weren't like this they would be different but isn't that obvious. If you change the rules to the game then its not the same game. duhh. 

I cant describe how i feel. I can try to reason why i do. I can try to mentally prepare myself so the hurt wont hurt. What if the hurt never comes? What if this an okay place to be? What if there is something someone better ? Will it be easy to walk away? Will we still be friends? Is this right ? Is the distance to much? Is this all that will happen? Is this what i want?

When thoughts become to much its much easier to sleep.

Fat kids love cake

Feelings are something that for some reason lately i just cant explain. The moment ive decided i feel a certain way something happens that makes me realize i may not feel that way.

Can life just be black and white. Easy as loving cake. please and thank you