H2O

Today was a good day . i worked 12 - 9 and this morning desi and i did pilates. I also got threw the boring part of eclipse and am pumped to read a ton tonight and hopefully not fall asleep. I have a super busy day tomorrow . except for a few hours . im pretty pumped to get my hair cut !! thinking about getting it shaved ! lol jk . never ! i would cry . i dont think you could pay me to shave it .... well maybe cause i could always buy a really sweet wig . but you would have to pay me a ton. Then i have calling hours to go to and then a soft ball game and then swing danceing with bailey later . WOOT . should be a mostly fun day . I also need to still get stuff for prom . like water and stuff for smores . but i dont want to go by myself . i may see if bay and i have time to go inbetween the soft ball game and swing dancing or i may see if i can convince someone to come with me after my hair cut . i just dont want to carry all that water and stuff by myself.

Good Times

Movie night was fun ! lol we watched Veggie Tales and Beauty and the Beast . not really sure how those got choosen but they were enjoyed ! . lol well here goes to a late night wal mart run ! LOVE EM !!

Laughter is the KEY !

So today is the last day off in a row . kinda sad but im ready to go back to work . i kinda actually miss it . i feel like i have way to much free time. Today so far was a random day . This morning with some not so great news and then went on a walk with desi then played some magic . and later tonight i hopeing for a movie night . I sent out all the invites and now im just waiting to see who all is coming and then the big question will be what movie do we watch. Well ill have to tell you later how it goes .



So i really think today is it . Today i feel like its really over and im okay . Some of me feels like i owe john reed like a hundred hours of his life back from talking me threw everything over the last few months. but i dont know where i would be with out him . I thank God everyday for putting people in my life that have helped me grow so much even some people that may not realize it .

Ive been talking to a few random people today about just how i have been feeling and what im thinking . Sometimes i feel like im getting no where and my life is such a stand still but i need to grow more towards Christ . i have fallen so far and feel so lost sometimes cause i feel like i should know way more than i do . I want to have my own opinnions and actually know why i have them and not just form from everyone elses. So i guess i need to find a me . lol i need to decide who i am . I mean i love being me and ill never change that . ill always laugh way to loud even in public . Ill always be trying to make plans with people . and have a ton of friends. I will always seem to find some reason to why i should buy more shoes and i will always enjoy playing video games and magic. I cant help those things . but i need to be able to defend myself in the real world .

well good bye for now . i may try to read some more twilight and not fall asleep on my book .

Bike Ride

So today was fun . was on praise team with debbie and locker ! woot . it was awsome . then got free pizza at a meeting . would have been better if it were just the pizza and no meeting . lol Then went on a bike ride with bailey and debbie . well actually when i first got to debbies we all took a nap on her bed . lol then we went on a bike ride. btw i love john reeds bike . its so much better than mine . We rode to the cemetary .... Cemetaries can be fun to look at all the things nice/awsome/ funny things people write but then other times its just really sad. or well it makes me think a lot . It makes me wonder why someone else had to die and not me . im not saying i want to die or anything i love life . but i sometimes feel like i dont have that much to offer so why do i get to live a longer life than someone else ... ?? Also i start to thinking about how blessed i really am . Sometimes i feel like the stuff i am going threw is so big and all but really its not . I mean my life hasnt been perfect and its been a rollercoaster but whose hasnt . We all have our pasts and everyone seems to have their family issues but thats just life . I am so lucky with what i have that i should never complain . I mean come on i have a place to live . a job that i love ! and work with some awsome ladies !! and i have the worlds best friends !!

Well so there was my little brain ponder for the day . im not sure that it all came out how i wanted it to cause when i start typeing i tend to ramble . lol well here goes to another night of trying to catch up in eclipse.