Round 2 any takers ?

Its crazy how you can debate one decision you make over and over in your head till you have spun so much you wanna hurl. This whole time i could have bet my life on it i knew why it hurt but after some talks and lots of thinking i stand corrected. This summer was way more than i ever expected and now that its over i feel like other things are so close to death. I needed you . Everyone in my summer actually. Im totally convinced that i have been affected by everyone ive grown close to this summer. I also find it hard to believe that you didnt need me too. We needed it each other i guess that was part of the game, living parallel lives for so long then smashing together head on. These last few weeks of my summer have been hard. Ive been faking the smiles and faking the laughs. Ive been faking so long i think i may have lost my loud giggle all together... The reason my stomach turns every time and im paranoid every time we talk is cause im afraid nothing will be the same . You dont need me anymore. I can hear you say this isnt true and if its not ill be excited too. Yea i guess thats it....Hoping things will go back to the way they were before.

I find myself on every occasion that i try to write a blog , never fails, there are always more than one topic i could write on and on and on about. Wonder what my fingers will bring to ponder about. Maybe they will lead to the past , the old days, or maybe the future, and always wondering what will be, or maybe even today. How bout something different.

I always find myself wondering if what i am currently doing is right. Have i made the right choice what if it all goes wrong is it worth the hurt. So instead you choose no. safe answer right ? yea only sometimes cause you realize you picked no but your still not ready to pick yes. Im bigger wonder is why we always want what we dont have and once we have it it doesnt seem to matter.

Poem... emotions written in rhyme

Life can get crazy 

Life can feel so unreal

Going threw time

Nothings a big deal

From one thing to the next 

Tomorrow is yesterdays today

Im looking for a hero

To come walking my way

I want to be rescued 

Maybe swept off my feet

Fly me up to the sky 

But i dont want to look to deep

I may try to run

Its what i always seem to do 

Please grab me 

Dont let me disapear from you too

Life can get crazy 

Life can feel so unreal

Going threw time

Im ready to find my big deal

 

Slow Down

Here i am sitting wondering what should i write about today wondering what in my life is standing out most at this moment. How some people have everything others would die for and they still test the fires to see what else is out there. Or is being the cat lady so bad ? How bout how loneliness can sometimes consume you and make you do the stupidest of things. With all of that running threw my head ( and of course I'm eating two fried eggs easy side up with two pieces of toast butter ) i hear my grandma and bill in the living room reading a devotional magazine and laughing together. How cute and perfect the scenario, almost movie like, Kodak perfect. Two people not perfect but perfect together reading about a God they serve and love dearly. So i guess when my head gets to full of things to write about im just gonna leave it at the simplicity of that. Two people in love always there for each other making each other smile and serving their lord! :)