Another adventure :)

Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting,challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous.   - Carrie




I love this quote and not only the quote but i want to be the next Carrie Bradshaw just maybe  with a little more Christian morals. lol ;) So step one move to NYC ... Lindsay and I were talking about this tonight. The goal is set for next summer. Lindsay and i are going to move the big apple well maybe right outside the big apple and find a place we can just rent for three months or so. It would be awesome if i could find an internship while im there and see what being a real journalist is all about. If not though it will be just another crazy summer with a little more independence. Which it in itself is kinda scary and leaves me wondering if this could really happen. could i afford this ?? Could i really just move for 3 months and come back ?? Whats holding me back though?? Well i guess we will have to see when next summer comes. or more like February cause thats when i'll have to start looking for a job and an apartment.... hmmm  yea stay tuned

Round 2 any takers ?

Its crazy how you can debate one decision you make over and over in your head till you have spun so much you wanna hurl. This whole time i could have bet my life on it i knew why it hurt but after some talks and lots of thinking i stand corrected. This summer was way more than i ever expected and now that its over i feel like other things are so close to death. I needed you . Everyone in my summer actually. Im totally convinced that i have been affected by everyone ive grown close to this summer. I also find it hard to believe that you didnt need me too. We needed it each other i guess that was part of the game, living parallel lives for so long then smashing together head on. These last few weeks of my summer have been hard. Ive been faking the smiles and faking the laughs. Ive been faking so long i think i may have lost my loud giggle all together... The reason my stomach turns every time and im paranoid every time we talk is cause im afraid nothing will be the same . You dont need me anymore. I can hear you say this isnt true and if its not ill be excited too. Yea i guess thats it....Hoping things will go back to the way they were before.

I find myself on every occasion that i try to write a blog , never fails, there are always more than one topic i could write on and on and on about. Wonder what my fingers will bring to ponder about. Maybe they will lead to the past , the old days, or maybe the future, and always wondering what will be, or maybe even today. How bout something different.

I always find myself wondering if what i am currently doing is right. Have i made the right choice what if it all goes wrong is it worth the hurt. So instead you choose no. safe answer right ? yea only sometimes cause you realize you picked no but your still not ready to pick yes. Im bigger wonder is why we always want what we dont have and once we have it it doesnt seem to matter.

Poem... emotions written in rhyme

Life can get crazy 

Life can feel so unreal

Going threw time

Nothings a big deal

From one thing to the next 

Tomorrow is yesterdays today

Im looking for a hero

To come walking my way

I want to be rescued 

Maybe swept off my feet

Fly me up to the sky 

But i dont want to look to deep

I may try to run

Its what i always seem to do 

Please grab me 

Dont let me disapear from you too

Life can get crazy 

Life can feel so unreal

Going threw time

Im ready to find my big deal