Im probably not gonna be good at this....

I dont know if hurt is the right word but there is an emotion. I dont think its pain or anything like that. I think its because im not sure that this is exactly right but i know that the intent behind it is. Im kinda scared maybe nervous or even worried is a better word for where its gonna end and how longs it gonna take. These next two week will be long but should be full of indiana work devotions and catching up on sleep. Then school starts and maybe ill be so distracted i could just push it to the back of my head for a little. Its 2011 and im trying to fully give this year to God but that statement alone is alot harder than i thought it would be. Im really hoping my wants and what God has in store for me this year are the same. Day 1.

It’s amazing how you can speak right to my heart
Without saying a word you can light up the dark
Try as I may I could never explain
What I hear when you don’t say a thing

The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There’s a truth in your eyes sayin’ you’ll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you’ll catch me if ever I fall
You say it best when you say nothing at all

All day long I can hear people talking out loud
But when you hold me near, you drown out the crowd
Old mr. webster could never define
What’s being said between your heart and mine

The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There’s a truth in your eyes sayin’ you’ll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you’ll catch me if ever I fall
You say it best when you say nothing at all

The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There’s a truth in your eyes sayin’ you’ll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you’ll catch me if ever I fall
You say it best when you say nothing at all 






This song is how i feel right now :) minus the extreme pain in my stomach :(




So many people saying just be careful and take your time. well okay i understand. Im not planning on rushing anything but i like where were at. I just wanna keep moving foward I dont wanna go back. Im willing to take this risk. I really believe him and i totally trust he is not lieing. I trust that he means what he says i believe he doesnt ever wanna hurt me or leave me but there is a small piece of me with my guard up . Its not just his fault either so it may take some time to fully break that wall down. SO i trust and fear at the same time . its possible right. I praying cause God knows whats best. I wanna start to try again. the smile on your face lets me know that you need me theres a truth in your eyes sayin youll never leave me and a touch of your hand says youll catch me if ever i fall.

This blog will probably more than likely be edited after time and some more thought

Its easy to get caught up in the world. Some things are just super fun but if those things are taking away from things that are more important are they worth it? With a simple question ... are they worth it ? We start to try to justify it. Some people could talk themselves into doing almost anything. Well its just once or so and so did it and no one said anything to them. The excuses or reasons that we settle for to justify things can be completely ridiculous but if you want to do something enough you'll settle. Its something that people who claim to be Christians do alllll the time. Is it fair to justify our actions with... the bible was written a long time ago and things are different now. No! We don't get to change what God says is okay and not okay because things of the world have changed. 

Im no where near finished blogging about this but its late and i have class in the am. Stay Tuned :)

Ive started reading Emma by Jane Austen. Yea thats it for right now.