Watch Out . Im on the prowl boys ;)

Irony ... a little when the one thing you try to avoid swoops into your life at the perfect timing that you've decided to give it a chance. Im not saying i regret it. Im not saying im completely overjoyed with what i did. I can't tell you why my heart took an interest. I broke all the rules to see if it would be better than before... Two lives going in opposite directions some how meeting for a moment. I was hoping to bring you up but you brought me down. Its fine if you want to live your life that way but i want more than that maybe more is a bad choice of words. I want different than that. I felt it , the thought always somewhere in the back of my head, wondering when it was gonna hurt how long will this last. Till one moment it hit me your freaked i cried you said sorry i said okay and we went on again then last night it hit me again. you freaked. i almost shed a tear. I knew it was right this time. How you handled it just adds to why i had to say goodbye.  When you know the person that means the most to you wouldn't approve of someone your trying to make the next most important. Its time to step back and stop justifying cause the longer you wait the longer it may hurt. A piece of me still wishes you could change but its something that really may never be. Im looking ahead. Loving God . My friends and life itself. Still looking for Love. This time hopefully in all the right places.


Stay tuned :)

Were playing life its your turn

Most people say they hate playing games yet here we all are caught up in the game of life. All of us wishing the real world was as easy as Hasbro makes it out to be. There is no obvious stop and pick career or stop and get married. You don't get an extra spin. Every choice comes with a new load of responsibility some are so easily made and others take forever to just step in the door. 

Some moments you feel like you dont care how long it takes and others you wonder how long should you wait here. If things weren't like this they would be different but isn't that obvious. If you change the rules to the game then its not the same game. duhh. 

I cant describe how i feel. I can try to reason why i do. I can try to mentally prepare myself so the hurt wont hurt. What if the hurt never comes? What if this an okay place to be? What if there is something someone better ? Will it be easy to walk away? Will we still be friends? Is this right ? Is the distance to much? Is this all that will happen? Is this what i want?

When thoughts become to much its much easier to sleep.

Fat kids love cake

Feelings are something that for some reason lately i just cant explain. The moment ive decided i feel a certain way something happens that makes me realize i may not feel that way.

Can life just be black and white. Easy as loving cake. please and thank you

Warm weather here and gone.

So here we find ourselves in the middle of the summer . Everyone is over there YAY summers here buzz. We have all moved on to, " Wow is it hot ! " If you haven't started already its to late for your summer fling so sorry but maybe next year. All the holidays are over which means no more extra days off work for all you lucky people who work jobs that have benefits. Thoughts of school are starting to enter all of the students  brains, some excited ( thats me ! ) , some not so much.

Lets stop to update the world on that. So heres the plan. I have been accepted and plan on attending YSU in the fall for Journalism. Im truly thrilled and i cant wait however there may be a giant road block to still over come. Im not sure what is going on with my loans and stuff so i have to figure all that out and then ill be set and ready to attend school :) ! Im excited to have school work. Im excited to get my brain working again. Im excited to meet new people. Im excited to have health insurance. Im excited to have a gym to work out at. Im excited just pure excited !!! Oh i almost forgot .  Im excited to have study dates with friends !!!

So anyways as were half way threw the summer not to many events left. Zoo trip tomorrow <3 animals so i cant wait. Then hopefully the Lot . Visiting the fabulous cousin and some other randoms but thats about all thats left for Summer 2010.

Stay Tunes ;)